Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Should I title this post: "Forget it" or "Why do I even bother?"

[photos courtesy of my dear friend Cathy Jones]

merry christmas, anyhow.

Monday, December 20, 2010

a public apology on the blogisphere

Dear Evie B, I apologize for branding you a liar in my last post. 

I made the darling crayola wreaths you depicted on your blog, and they were dang cute.  The teachers appropriately fawned over them.  The students we walked past on the way to the classroom stared.  The school nurse gave adequate adulation.  The secretaries raved. 

My daughters were class heroes. 

I was finally that mom.  For a day.

[That mom I'd wanted to throttle just yesterday]. 

I see how this could have taken you only 20 minutes total, Evie B., and maybe even cost you only five bucks. 

Unfortunately they were out of foam wreaths at the Dollar Tree, and I wanted to use more than just the primary color crayons. I didn't really have any material I liked (that I could find in my randomly squirred away craft piles in various cabinets, at least).

My cost ended up being around $10 per wreath, which was still jim dandy, if you ask me. 

I stayed up until 2:00am making these wreaths. 

Something about the mindless task of hot glue gunning 137 crayons approximately 3 millimeters apart each was strangely calming.  

I experienced a glimpse of spiritual clarity and elusive inner peace while listening to my MoTab christmas music in the crystal chill of the night.

I mentally stacked up my blessings. 

I also ruined my gel nails, and my second degree burns are healing nicely. 

There were pockets of sheer exhaustion--sure.  Occasional lapses into puddles of delirium. 

For instance:  I remember being spurred on by the unfettered delusion that I would be hoisted up onto the shoulders of the students/teachers alike after presenting this glorious rainbow of delight to the teacher...a la Ralphie in "A Christmas Story".  

This kept me right on gluegunning. 

Plus I decided I like my wreaths just a leetle better than yours, Evie B.  I only gooped together one big fabric flower per wreath [held together by 17 pounds of glue], and I did not use pinking shears but I plan to look them up in the dictionary soon. 

Total time spent on project:  2 hours and 27 minutes.

Don't hate me because I'm crafty.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

what I would LIKE to make my kids' teachers...

(photo/idea credit to Evie B.)

And what they will likely get. {again}.

The time I might have spent today making ruining these nifty crayon wreaths (I often fantasize about being that crafty mom) was instead spent finding the perfect jeggings (jeans/leggings) for Ellison.  She wallowed around on the floor this morning before school bellowing that "her pants were so small that even a squirrel wouldn't fit into them!!"
[I did shrink them].
[And I did appreciate the rodent in jeggings imagery].

That's OK.  The mom who made the wreath claimed it only cost $5.00 total and it only took her 20 minutes, which is a big fat lie.

Off to Target.