Anyone need a book for Kiddie Book Club?

Lucky for me, right on the heels of my pre-holiday breakdown, came some well-timed comic relief.

As I was putting Ellison to bed, she naturally wanted to read with me.  I grabbed a chapter book off of her shelf called "The Higher Power of Lucky".  It was a Newbery Medal Winner.  Guh-reat!  We hadn't read that one yet, and frankly I was a tad bored of mimicking what I thought Junie B. Jones' voice sounded like. 

Here we come, warmth and fuzzies!  Let us wind down together, darling daughter...

{An excerpt from Page 1}:

"Sammy told of the day when he had drunk half a gallon of rum listening to Johnny Cash all morning in his parked '62 Cadillac, then fallen out of the car when he saw a rattlesnake on the passenger seat biting his dog, Roy, on the scrotum."



So much for dewdrops and lollipops.



Too tired to discuss scrotal and/or alcoholic implications with my seven year old, I stared into her elfin-like face and mentally begged her just not to ask.  Too tired. Too tired. Too tired. 

Subsequently, my Junie B. Jones impersonation was dead-on.