Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Pecadillos

A Preface: My kids wanted to be on the swim team this year.

Caroline, [age 8], was to be in the 4:45 pm swim team practice slot for 7-8 year olds. Jackson, [age 10], was to be in the 5:30 pm practice slot for 9-10 year olds.

Wouldn't it be swell if I could just get them both in the 5:30pm practice slot so I could just make one trip to the pool every single day?

Yes it would be swell.


Me: "I'd like to enroll my kids in afternoon swim team, please."


Municipal worker at city HQ: "What are their ages?"


Me: "I'd like to enroll them both in the 9-10 year olds time slot."
(not a lie).


Muni lady: "When are their birthdays?"


Remedial math. Do it. Quickly. What would her birthday have to be to make her nine years old? Subtract or add a year to her actual birthdate?? 

{The blank stare of a dairy cow}.


Me: "11/22/99 and 04/20/99."


Muni lady: "They were both born in the same year?"

[Hoover Dam(n)].

I guess I added when I should have subtracted or subtracted when I should have added?! Why did I have to get the astute lady?

"Jackson is a foster child," I heard myself say.

What?!!  Abort!! ABORT!!


Muni lady (warily): "OK then, sign here and it'll be $110.00"


And just like that, I had relegated my pride-and-joy-firstborn-and-only-son to a foster child just to save a ten minute drive to and from the pool every day.


[Factoid]:  I loathe begging forgiveness from astute municipal worker ladies.

The next day when I went back in to clear my conscience, she threw me the exaggerated eye roll and did not go for my desperately-trying-to-be-humorous apology.

Apparently lying to (I prefer the term "misleading") the City of Gilbert is a grievous matter, because she then asked to see birth certificates, which luckily I had hauled in with me to prove the actual and factual birthdates of my children, who just want to swim on the dad blasted swim team!

I suppose it serves me right.


[Post edit]:  I got them both in the 9-10 year old time slot anyways simply by asking the coaches at swim practice if they could be together.

McNeverTellALie was amused.

As he usually is.

16 comments:

Jared and Delia said...

oh no...that sounds like something i would do. the lying and then exposing my lie in one fell swoop. I can't bear to tell a lie either. That is nice they let you have them on the same team anyway.

Marilyn said...

Whenever I need a better day, I read your blog. Thanks for the fabulous laugh! Pleez pleez move back to Iowa!

MrsPebs said...

haha! that is hilarious!!!!! thank you for making my day ;)

Lonni said...

Okay, that little episode could totally be a sitcom. Thanks for the laughter. It helps with my boredom-- so keep posting!!

Janet said...

I am on the floor laughing! You are my favorite! At least you could quickly do the math in you head, I would have had to count on my fingers or something!

Nancy K said...

I love you and your style!!

Ashley Ann said...

Karen, you are the best! And kudos on the birth-dates...I can't even get my kid's real birth years right.

Stacy said...

I wouldn't be able to do the math that quickly! I actually registered Nate for school with the wrong birthday. I was too embarrassed to say I couldn't remember if it was the 28th or 29th (another family member is one day off his)! Eeek! That's what three little boys will do to your brain!

Stacy said...

I wouldn't be able to do the math that quickly! I actually registered Nate for school with the wrong birthday. I was too embarrassed to say I couldn't remember if it was the 28th or 29th (another family member is one day off his)! Eeek! That's what three little boys will do to your brain!

[S Rizzle] said...

How freakin refreshing that someone else lies. I got caught in a doozy last week. Dang! It was all because I did not want to do something with my lil' sis. LOL!! Missed reading your blog, gonna have to catch up1

Postcards and Coasters said...

Funny!

Love the new house! Especially the huge window in the living room and of course the amazing backyard!

Chelle said...

I'm glad you got them both in the same session in the end - sometimes that one extra car trip is all it takes to push a busy mom over the edge.

You are one quick thinker. Like McNeverTellALie, I too, am amused.

Becky said...

I am just shaking my head at you- sometimes you do things that keep surprising me...and making me laugh. Super glad that you don't have to make 2 trips- that would stink. Cam wants to be on the swim team too, but Landon's is at 4:30, and his would be different. But, cuz I am a scaredy cat about getting "busted", I don't think that would have ever entered my mind. You are risky and I like that about you- it keeps me amused. A big pat on the back for accepting Jackson back as your real life blood child. :)

Carol F. said...

LOL Poor Jackson, the foster child. Why not Caroline? So, so funny.

Bruce Anderholt said...

I would have said they were twins: and he's been late ever since!

Amanda said...

I am a friend of Jill's, and just happened to blog hop to yours from hers and have been quite entertained! Thanks! You have an adorable family, love your animal child...wow she made a mess for you! But this post is awesome!!